I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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