he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
