Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
