I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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