I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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