If i come over, it means nothing
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
