I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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