Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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