He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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