if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
