Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I am naked and annoyed.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize