Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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