Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
