Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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