I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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