Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Houston, we have a squirter
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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