He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dear god my vagina.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
