so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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