Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
