question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
