what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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