So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
