Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
