If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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