So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
