meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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