Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
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I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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