just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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