i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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