He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
