How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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