M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
