I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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