i just wanna soil my oats bro
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
