Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i think my mom watched the whole time
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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