The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We left an ass print on the piano.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
