The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
