So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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