The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
