apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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