and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
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After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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