He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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