Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
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She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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