So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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