so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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