you would pick up someone in the library
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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