once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
