I accidentally burped into my bong.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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