I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
