Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
