that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
