so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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