She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize