So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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