yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
