My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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