I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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