Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
