i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i think my cat just said my name.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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